Booth Service and a Cigarette
by druidgoddess
Summary: AU, Brice, South Carolina, plays host to an ambitious diner cook about to leave for college. His last summer becomes entangled with an injured, deluded gymnast who believes himself to be a pirate captain.
1. Prologue: Diner

**Booth Service and a Cigarette**: AU, Sanji POV, excludes some characters, please deal with this fact.

**Prologue: **

_You may find a diner down in Georgia or  
__Carolina off the twenty by the Piggly Wiggly  
__in the county out of Waynsboro. _

There is something to be said about this particular diner. We maybe in the middle of nowhere in some faceless town in South Carolina, but damn it if we aren't the only diner with a cook who went to culinary school. And he's running a diner. World can be a funny place like that, I guess.

And some would say I'm nothing but a "good old boy", all Southern-like and such. To tell the truth, I hate my accent and repress it to the best of my abilities, as well as any habit or behavior that might let on that I've never even been out of this town my entire life. Or, really, even out of this diner.

I meet plenty of people though. See, even though we're faceless, we're also a crossroads town where people stop off to get something to eat before they continue on their way. They leave like I wish I could sometimes. Not that I have it that badly. I work my night shifts at the diner and spend the rest of my time studying my way out of here. And soccer. Can't forget soccer.

I'm eighteen, at a crossroads myself. In three months, I will pack my books and my soccer gear and head to Johnson and Wales in Providence, Rhode Island, to get a step closer to a better culinary school. They're also taking me on soccer scholarship too. Not a bad deal.

June was winding down with the last of my classes when I want to say my last summer in Brice began. It seemed that any other time could have been better, but somehow, it began then.

I was again ejecting our resident misfit for misconduct. He certainly wasn't Hispanic, but that hadn't stopped his parents from naming him Zoro. Our 'misfit' was originally from Boston ( or as he said it, 'Bawstan' ) and attempted to personify punk as best he could. An anarchist with three Bowies strapped to his belt, Zoro made a point this year in dying his plain brown hair neon green. This coupled with his favorite color ( black ) and his combat boots made him a scary person indeed.

He was protesting loudly as I hauled him out by his wife-beater and trying to get to those knives. I planted a shined shoe up his ass and he stopped, grabbing himself. I snorted and left him on the curb. He never learned. It was the third time this week. Mr. Owner let him back in all the time because he figured I could handle him and Zoro did spend a lot of his money here. I snorted and went back to my spot behind the counter.

It's not like I don't owe a lot him, the owner, Zeff, which is an odd nickname by all counts. See, not many would want to take in a foster kid ( even for that kid to work like a dog ) who was partially blind. And I don't mean this by my hair. See, when I brush the hair aside, the blue eye with the film over it and scar on the eyebrow? The other one didn't escape unscathed either; it curls all funny. My parents and I got into a spectacular farming accident when I was little. They survived for a bit, but the inevitable happened.

I can still see shadows and shit out of that eye, but it bothers me, so I cover it up. Plus, it doesn't move, and what girl wants to see that when she's kissing a pretty face?

I think now that the set up was perfect, the whole idea of all converging when we were most ready for change. So, there were one soccer player, one anarchist, one ruined gymnast and a girl.


	2. Missouri

**Chapter One:** Missouri

_Side of fries a dollar,  
__or the haddock plate two ninety five  
__A rootbeer float, a Pepsi.  
__And be sure to save some room for some apple pie;  
__better make it a-la-mode _

_There's a couple from the Show Me State,  
__knockin' back a little meatloaf plate._

She kept apologizing for her companion, a bouncy, black-hair boy. He began to order everything on the menu, but it was soon apparent by the look on her face that they couldn't afford it. She tentatively grabbed my arm and told me to bring them the cheapest thing to split: the meatloaf plate.

Since it was slow that night ( they were the only people there, besides Zoro sleeping out back, kicked out of the house for the night again ), I joined them with my own dinner of leftovers. I began to talk with the girl, she introduced herself as Nami. She was Missouri, as was he who eagerly ate most of their food without a second thought.

She kept giving him sympathetic looks. I asked why, being a bit curious and wishing to keep her attention as best as I could. I like girls. Girls like me. If you'd say that's a very egotistical thing to say, then obviously, you don't know me that well, do you?

She began slowly. He'd been an elite athlete, a gymnast of amazing talent. I raised my eyebrows as she listed all the things he'd won and all the people he'd beat. It was too amazing to be true. Her hands tightened around her cup of coffee. They were on the run. He'd had a fall not to long ago . . . his head had hit the beam too hard, he hadn't moved when he was lying there. He was brain-damaged, she thought.

He'd been a different person, her voice sounded irked, a responsible, reliable one who concentrated on his work and sport. But now . . . they were going to have him train again because it seemed his body went on auto-pilot when it came to the skills. She was afraid it would kill him to do it anymore.

So, she concluded along with the last of her coffee ( black and iced ), she stole him. I asked what was so bad, because he didn't seem so bad. As if on cue, he finally spoke up.

"I'm Luffy! King of the Pirates! Arg! I'm a pirate."

She sighed. "That's what's wrong. And your name is Louis."

"Luffy." He said brightly. "And you're in my crew."

"You haven't got gin back there, do you?" She asked me. I shook my head, no. Her pretty face scowled as Luffy, as he called himself, vaulted skillfully onto the counter and began to walk on his hands. It almost seemed as if he was made of rubber, but then, that's the way it is with those kind of types.

"There's a motel nearby." I offered, knowing that the next bus out of here wouldn't come until the morning. She shook her head. "This is where we're supposed to be here."

I was a little surprised. People don't come to Brice to stay unless they are mental or retired or farmers. She her eyes shifted to the boy dismounting the counter. "He's got this idea in his head . . . I thought it would be best to humor him to get him out of Missouri."

"And what idea is that?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and fished through her bag, handing me a series of print outs.

"They're a map if you put them together. Some sort of treasure map."

"Y'all're goin' after tha' hainted holla?" I slipped into the accent with amazement. I saw her look a little interested now.

"You know about it?" She leaned in. "You sound like you're from around here."

"I'm not," I said, back in an educated clip. "I've just heard stories."

"We'll split with you." Luffy was sitting on a stool, looking at me with a face full of childish hopefulness. "Come on, it'll be fun! You can be in my crew – the cook! Every ship needs a cook. What's your name?"

I paused, thinking about it. Hell, I had nothing to do for the summer. Maybe humoring them wouldn't be so bad after all. "It's a little weird – "

"Try me." Nami muttered.

I extended my hand to the boy on the stool. "I'm Sanji."

o-o-o

I don't think that it was going to occur to our 'captain' any time soon that he was, in fact, not a pirate, but a delusional gymnast who could have gone to the Olympics if he hadn't fallen and Nami hadn't stolen him from the gym.

But god damn it if I was going to get poison oak because of him. I swatted at another mosquito as we looked for a trail – or what would be left of a road.

"Luffy," Nami was complaining, "We're off the map."

No response. I rolled my eyes. I suppose this is what I get for listening to maniacs at on the late shift. What I really should have been at was graduation practice, but, to hell with that, there was treasure to found. I stopped and lit up a cigarette.

A terrible vice, yes, I know, but kept those skeeters away from me better than any repellent these two city slickers were wearing. Luffy tumbled into a sinkhole and we had to call it a day and get him back to solid ground before he cracked his skull open. I slapped a steak on the grill while she quietly slipped pills into his mouth to ease the pain in his head. Guy was pretty sick.

The door rang and I heard the familiar rumble of combat boots looking for a free meal and maybe a place to sleep. I rubbed my eyes wearily. This wouldn't be the first time he'd scared someone off.

Zoro, reeking of moonshine, stumbled in and threw himself into the counter. Nami warily took in his Bowies and he just glowered right back her in his usual unrepentant manner. I put a Styrofoam cup of coffee in front of him and pointed to the door. He took it, planted his ass on the stool and chugged.

Luffy was staring at him, wide-eyed once again. I looked at him and then back at Zoro. He couldn't possibly . . .

"Hi!" That bouncy black hair was now in the stool next to Zoro. "I'm a pirate captain and we're in dire need of a swordsman."

Zoro blinked.

"So I think it's only reasonable that you join my crew."

Zoro was just drunk enough to go along with it. "Eh, ai-yuh, just get me something to drink."

"Sanji can do that, he's the cook!" Luffy pointed to me, that stupid grin still in place. Zoro looked at my and chuckled.

"Come on, make with the goods." He said with the kind of eyebrow motion that was particularly suggestive. I swiped his cup away from him and crushed it into tiny bits. Luffy tsk-tsked behind me.

"That's no way to treat on of your crew members!"

"Yeah!" Zoro echoed, pumping his arm in the air, the back anarchy sign that he'd tattooed there jumping around and dancing in the most interesting way. I watched his eyes for a second; I knew what was coming at this stage. He keeled over.

Nami looked at the hulking figure, now sleeping soundly on the linoleum. "Is he always like this?"

I gave her a withering glance. "Just be glad he's not on acid."

**ai-yuh** is common Boston accent for any affirmitave word.


	3. Pahkin' da Cah

**Chatper Three:** Pahkin' da Cah

"What's 'hainted holla' mean?"

"Nothing."

"But it sounds cool, 'hainted holla', sounds . . . mysterious."

"It doesn't mean anything."

"It means something." Luffy was sitting cross-legged on the counter while I cleaned out behind the grill. "I think it's spiffy, really."

I heard his sandals scrape on the Formica. "You're a grouchy boy."

"Fine!" I conceeded before he decided to help me again. "It means 'haunted hollow'. Those woods are haunted."

"Oh?" Luffy was interested now. "Haunted? By what?"

I had now realized that indulging Luffy was something dangerous and yet so easy to do. Once he was interested, there was just about no going back whatsoever. "I'm sure Nami's told you all about that."

He cracked his knuckles, thinking with that skewed mind of his before he asked his next question. "No . . . she just found the map. So why's it haunted?"

I reached far back for some elusive grease. "Well, you know that back in the seventeen hundreds, the Carolinas were where American piracy took place. Plus a lot of other stuff."

"Really! Pirates, here!"

"On the coast, yeah, but that's maybe an hour or two from here." I said, coming out from underneath and standing up. Luffy was lounging now, silently observing the fascinating ceiling.

"So . . . it's haunted by pirates?"

"Nah." I wiped my hands off. "There was a huge manor out there once upon a time and it burned down and everyone died. Was an arson. And now they say that all the people in there haunt the woods."

Luffy considered this for second. "They're guarding something. They have to be."

I turned the grill on as the first person for the night wandered in. Luffy slid off the counter and walked in back.

"Sanji, I want steak!"

o-o-o

I flipped the closed sign in the door. It was twelve at night and there were still people hanging around. Zoro was mulling over a cup of coffee while Nami was trying to restrain herself from beating Luffy over the head as he did round-offs down the length counter.

Nami was taping together the pieces of paper to create the whole map. Zoro, sober for once, was watching her with an odd expression. In the short few hours he'd known her, she'd already slapped him, bitched him out and then pulled one of his own knives on him. In short, she had his grudging respect. Stupid anarchist.

Luffy was clutching his head. He didn't know why it hurt -- he couldn't figure out that the flips had been the cause. Zoro turned as Luffy wimpered.

"Man, suck it up!" He growled.

"It hurts!"

Zoro fished in his pocket and drew out a pale grey packet. He shook it tantalizingly. "This, my friend, it what you need."

Luffy reached his hand out. Zoro dropped a single strip of tissue paper into Luffy's hand and one into his own. They placed them on their tongues and swallowed.

It honestly took me that long to figure out what was going on.

"YOU SHIT-HEAD!" I rushed out from behind the counter. "You do not let him drop acid!"

Nami looked up. "You what!"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "It's not like it's double dip or anything."

By now, the LSD was taking hold. Luffy was giggling. "We're on the ship, can't you see the clouds? It going to raaaaaaaain."

I shrugged off my apron as Luffy began to shout out sailing orders. Zoro was slipping out now as well, stroking his knives and chortling to himself. I moaned and grabbed the car keys from the back room.

"We've got to get him to the walk-in or something." I hollered to Nami who was pinning the delusional boy down. "That idiot may be fine, but I'm sure he won't be."

She was livid. She would have unleashed that fury on Zoro if Luffy hadn't ordered her to do something with the mainstay. I stuck the keys in the ignition of Zeff's '86 Toyota as she shoved the other two into the backseat. Zoro was challenging her to a duel for her honor.

"My name is . . . something or other! You killt my fadda! Prepahe to die!" Zoro screeched. Ok . . .

After a frantic half hour drive to the nearest hospital emergency room, we were in a bit of trouble. It would be easy to tell the doctors that someone had slipped Luffy something as a joke, as Nami and I could back him and pass a drug test. Zoro . . . on the other hand, was toting, as we discovered, not only acid, but double-dip, roaches and some fine white powder in his black bondage pants alone. He was going to have to stay in the car.

Oh Jesus. Now there was something I wasn't too keen on, but I was the one with the cash and the keys. I slapped all the child locks into the on position on all the doors so he couldn't open them.

"Sanji, you arse! Git back hea! I'm gonna have at ya! You killt my fadda, prepahe t'die!"

I slung Luffy's other arm over my shoulder.

"Da da da da dum! Ba da da! Dead man's chest! Come on guys! Sing with me! Yo ho, yo ho! Another round Sanji! AND ALL YOUR BASE BELONG TO US!"

We exchanged glanes. This was going to go over great.

o-o-o

"Arg!" Luffy was "arg-ing" the poor _male _Candystriper that we got. Poor kid was terrified of everything, though, that was the sense that I got. Hie eyes were wide and he trembled when Luffy "arg-ed" him.

"I'M A PIRATE!" Luffy crooned again, sending the Candystriper wincing and twitching again. His name was Percy Chopper and he had an abnormal nose and too much hair on his head.

"Pirate! Pirate! And a bottle of rum, yo ho! I can do a flip and I can beat a Romanian!"

"You're f-f-f-friend," He stuttered, "Has had L-L-L-LSD, which is an-"

"ARG! Doodle oodle do da! And I can do the funky chicken too!"

"-Illegal substance. I-I-I-I'm afraid you're going to have to wait f-f-f-for the effects to wear off." He was standing on the exam table now, using his clipboard as a shield. "We can g-g-g-give you some sedatives to help."

Something flickered in Nami's eyes. She grabbed our poor messenger boy by his tie and dragged him outside and down the hall. I raised my eyebrows, but was quickly distracted by the orderlies now looking at Luffy as though he were a circus freak.

"Dude, he seriously thinks he's a pirate?" One asked me. I shoved him out, but he just thrust the door open more.

"You ass, my foot, they should meet." I hissed. "He's not for your entertainment."

"Move." Nami was back with Chopper ( I had decided to call him by his last name, Percy just doesn't sit with me well ). The orderlies parted like the Red Sea and Nami sat Luffy down, speaking gently.

"Louis, we have a new crew member."

"Really?" He pounced on her. "What's he do?"

"He's a doctor." She said, pointing to unfortunate Chopper.

o-o-o

Eventually, at two in the morning, we got Luffy to take the sedatives and we carried him back to the car. Where we'd left Zoro. I'd forgotten about him.

What he had done was locked all the doors and kept locking them until I was faster and got the key in. Still high, he had his hands clenched around the steering wheel and had a song about what he was doing.

"I'm pahkin' da cah, pahkin' da cah! Pahk, pahk, pahkin' da cah 'fore da batree runs out! Ya know ya gotta pahk da cah 'fore the batree run out fer goooooood!"

"He's from Bawstan." I told Nami who was asking what exactly 'cah' meant. "They don't use 'r's up there."

"Oh."

o-o-o

I knew it was a bad idea and a waste of my money, but the tent had been worth it. Not only was there a pretty girl living in my backyard, but she was there on my good graces.

At least the tent had multiple rooms.

We zipped Luffy into his section as soon as he fell asleep. She dragged out a duffel bag and opened it. I felt my eyes widen when I saw the contents.

Pills. Syrups. Drinks and lotions. She looked quietly away.

"We can't move without half this stuff, him and me." She said slowly. "Sports, it's a hard road to walk. I'm a figure skater, I know Louis from my ballet class. I made friends with the old him and went to his gym a lot. He's broken, even to just look at his hands where his grips left scars or that scar under his eye. He was doing giants for the first time and he missed.

"So, maybe it's better we die out here than going back. But I'm telling you, I will not cry." Her eyes narrowed. "I will not go back there."

I opened my arms and she allowed me to hold her. Shut up, I told you, I like girls. And if you need to know, her body is hot.

o-o-o

The monster rose, creating destruction in his path.

"This is what you get for taking that stuff." I reminded him as I served breakfast, making sure his coffee was extra concentrated.

"Ugh, I have a wicked headache." Zoro rubbed his eyes. "And what the hell did I do that involved batteries?"

"You 'pahked da cah'." Luffy said around his bacon. "'Fore the batree ran out."

**Note:** Most variations of New England accents ( the most distinct being the Boston and Rhode Island ) tend not to use the letter 'r'. So, _car_ becomes _cah_. Also, syllables will be left out as this dialect of English is spoken as fast as humanly possible.


	4. Bondage Fetishes

**Chapter Four:** Bondage Fetishes

"We've got to do it!"

"No."

"I said I need the history on the area, reports and any maps."

"And I said 'no' bitch!"

Nami tightened her chokehold on Zoro's neck. She was straddling him now that she had managed to deck him in their little spat. He coughed loudly and one of her eyes began to twitch.

"I'm going to pretend that's a pack of cigarettes."

"Yeah," he snorted, "Cigarettes."

"You're doing it!"

"NO!"

Chokehold tightening.

See, Nami had common sense, something that the rest of us seem to lack. And her common sense was telling her that if we were going to back on the prowl for this treasure out in the hainted holla, then she would need background material on the area itself.

Now, before she headed to the library, Zoro let something slip. This something would be the fact that he had dated ( and cheated on ) the youngest librarian there, Robin-Nicolette. She was from our graduating class and seemed the quiet type. Until you cheated on her, apparently.

Now Nami was ready to take her life in her hands and attempt to beat Zoro into submission so he would talk Robin into letting her into the back rooms where the oldest stuff was kept. After all, she did have a sense of direction and could probably lead us well.

Luffy and I were watching them roll around on the floor.

"Are they making babies?" He asked me, completely unabashed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I drew out a cigarette and lit it.

"No, Luffy, they're just into S and M."

"What's that mean?"

o-o-o

It can be said that even on the best of his days, Zoro isn't the most agreeable person in the world. Face him with a girl he's screwed around with and, then, all of a sudden, he's ready to flee. So much for being the tough guy, the muscle, the rebel without the cause.

Robin-Nicolette had him wrapped around her little finger.

The tall, strapping, bondage clothing loving punk was quivering at the doorway of the library and once again telling Nami 'no'. No. She was Evil, Evil with a capitol E. He was stubborn Yankee, he was.

Nami was not to be deterred, however, she grabbed him by his earrings and dragged him in, kicking and screaming. This, of course, attracted the attention of the person he last wanted to see. I smirked at the petite, black haired girl who filtered in from somewhere in the dark shelves.

I'd never guessed Zoro would go for the smart types. She was our valedictorian and president of the Brice NHS chapter, as well an extremely well-rounded track athlete. But, for all her achievements, she could still be a raving bitch. So Zoro claimed, and, from the look on her face, I was inclined to believe him.

"You." She said in a poisonous tone, staying eerily calm while Zoro composed himself.

"You." He said in returned.

Nami poked Zoro. He shifted under the gaze of both girls and began to shake again.

"I need," Zoro sucked in his breath and braced himself. "A favor."

Robin-Nicolette blinked, as if to say, that's it?

"What?"

"We need to use the . . . find the . . . "

Nami knocked him out of the way. "Anything on the abandoned area off Cole Street. History, maps, anything."

The two faced each other with narrowed eyes. I could see the gears turning in their heads. Robin-Nicolette would think that this was Zoro's new girl and Nami just didn't seem to like Robin-Nicolette. Zoro was now bracing himself for an explosion.

Calmy, the black-haired girl motioned for us to follow. I trailed behind, keeping Luffy quiet to the best of my abilities.

It had become clear earlier this morning what Nami was putting into him every day, which was everything from supplements to B-12 to narcotic pain killers that half explained his quirky natures. She even knocked back a few pills for energy before stretching and going back to her coffee.

I was thinking that it would have solved all our problems to just give Luffy riddlin.

We caught up with the three in the archives, where the tension seemed to have abated slightly. The two girls were pouring over a map and giant book while Zoro sat in the corner, half asleep.

"It's just a legend, it's been proven."

"Well, then we'll unprove it."

"There's nothing there but ruins and danger. You'd have to be mad to-"

"You haven't met the captain yet, have you?"

"You mean that delinquent with the sandals?"

"Yeah."

"There's nothing there."

Nami rolled her eyes and unfurled a large sheet of graph paper. "It's chance that's going to have to be taken.

Robin-Nicolette's face scrunched up into that look that said she was going to be smart now. "The Cole Manor burned down in eighteen sixty four, during the Civil War. The property was abandoned by surviving slaves, considering the master and mistress were killed in the fire, considered to be an arson, as well as their select house servants. The property was passed onto the township of Brice to divide into sharecropping lots under a Special Field order made by General William T. Sherman.

"The actual legend begins with the fact that none of the black sharecroppers had any sucess and were noted for their easy loss of supplies, as well as their tales of spectral figures being seen in the area. Since the land had been given to them, they could do with it what they wanted, even if that included deserting it. According to the town's records, they moved West."

Nami, in the meantime, was penning all of this. She paused and waited for more. "I need, I repeat, everything."

The other girl began to sweep around, pulling ancient books and files off the shelfs and piling them in front of Nami. She gave a nod of goodbye and exited like a ghost herself.

Nami thrust a book into my hands. "Get reading."

o-o-o

"I thought I was done with this."

"Well, you're not . . . you never did any schoolwork, anyway."

"Will you two stop?"

"When you let me out of this fucking room."

"That's no way to speak to a lady."

"Wouldn't you know?"

"I'm gonna rip that tattoo right off your arm."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a promise."

"Bring it Soccer-Boy."

"Pick a time, pick a place."

"Cut that out!"

"Sure thing."

"Git off me!"

"I told you that tat was coming off."

"OW!"

No, that utterly ridiculous anarchy sign had not come off, but rather Nami had knocked together the unsuspecting heads of Zoro and myself. She took her seat again primly and asked in a controlled tone what I'd found.

I sifted through the marked pages of the three books I'd been pouring over. "Sixteen something or other, the first land grant is recieved to build Bryce, this grant was given to one Lord James Bryce. He erects the original manor structure about ten years later. It's destroyed during Tory occupation in the Revolutionary War. After that, better documentation begins. There's a map of the original lay outs, as well as slaves' quarters and the original town."

She nodded, taking her notes and then glancing pointedly at Zoro. He sighed and rifled through the old book. "There's an uprising, eighteen-oh-three of the slaves on the restored Cole estate, there's an attempted arson, town's militia is called in and then put it down. Over the next fifteen years, there are four more uprising attempts, but they are all put down and there's nothing until the Civil War."

"Ah, yes, South Carolina was the first state to pull away from the Union, you know." Interrupted a chill voice. Robin-Nicolette was standing in the doorway, Luffy behind her. "You're still missing important details."

"Yeah!" Luffy was pushing his way forward. "But Robin knows all those things because she's smart. She said she'll help with that part. Nothing with the woods though."

Zoro blinked incredulously as the girl blushed slightly.

"It's better than running the children's program all summer. Besides, I can submit as a research project when I head to university. And Zoro . . . "

He picked up his head.

"I want my handcuffs back."

o-o-o

"That is an uncanny talent you have, my boy." I said to Luffy as I slid a plate of ribs under his nose.

"What talent?" He asked, his mouth full of food.

"Getting everyone together like that."

"Pfff." He waved his off. "You all needed something to do for the summer, and I need a crew. See? Not so amazing."

"Ah, and yet is it." I said to him. He was an amiable fellow once you got around the annoying bounciness and loud voice. Besides, he postively adored any dish I put in front of him, which was more than I could say for customers I'd had before.

"Oh well." He shrugged. "So, you never told me, what _is_S and M?"

**Note:** After the next chapter, any character that hasn't been introduced probably will not be on the grounds that I don't feel I can write them well enough or they don't have a purpose. I hope I'm getting all my history correct! I'm an Honors student specializing in American History, with particular interest in the Civil War. So, if you see something that doesn't click, feel free to say something.


	5. Lore Master

**Chapter Five**: Lore Master

"I didn't know you could inject this stuff."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me."

" . . . that'd better not be a pick up line."

"For you? Honey, banging you would be one of my greatest pleasures."

Nami held the syringe in her hand like a dagger, about ready to gouge Zoro's eyes out with it. Our reluctant doctor, whose primary concerns were officially keeping Luffy on his feet and out of explicit pain, was watching this spectacle with wide, nervous eyes.

Chopper hadn't been eager to put riddlin ( as he described it, "a powerful psychiatric drug" ) in the hands of a known drug user. And knife fighter.

I thought it was midly entertaining that he and Zoro recognized each other on the spot. There were a few 'no ways' and then eye-rubbing, but it was undeniable. Seems a while back, Zoro got almost busted for fighting with those ever popular knives for cash. He'd lost, unsurprisingly, and came away from it all with a huge gouge spanning his chest ( he has the scars to prove it and rather morbidly enjoys showing them off ). Chopper had been there when they sewed Zoro shut.

Since the riddlin Chopper had been paid to bring was in pill form, well, there was just no luck getting it down Luffy's throat. Zoro, being adept with drugs as he is, managed to come back half an hour later with an injectable form of those pills. Nami supervised, not quite ready for Luffy to get high again. Now all the we had to do was hold him down.

I felt bad for the kid, really. He was sick, and it showed now and again. I began to wonder if he was getting worse, if there was anything we could do. The riddlin was the new experiement.

Riddlin, as many people know, is normally used to treat attention disorders. Nami was hoping it would give him a good sharp kick in his scrambled, pirate-filled brains and bring him back to a more sane place.

He was struggling frantically as Zoro pinned him and Nami checked the syringe before she drove it into his arm. When it was done, he was sullen, retreating to the tent to probably skulk. No worries here though, he'd be out and merry as the day is long as soon as lunch rolled round.

That wasn't stopping me from feeling bad. I caught up with him and asked him if he'd like to see something cool.

o-o-o

Bezner's Shooting Range is on the town limits. It's also one of the dustiest, most depressing places you could possibly imagine, that was, until they gave you a gun, then it was suddenly a very neat place.

They also had this kid, a local cracker jack, who could shoot anything, and I do mean anything. Of course, he wasn't good at much else. He was terrible at sports and not the sharpest tool in the box when it came to school. Oh, but did he love to talk, and he lied straight through his teeth without a second thought. He was a junior ( well, a senior now, I guess ) who was often on the receiving end of trouble and had a detention record as tall as I am. It was hereditary, seeing as his father's upstate ( his mum's dead ), leaving him the hands of his grandparents.

I hauled Luffy along as he sneezed through the dust. If you were lucky, Usopp, Mr. Ace Gunman, would let you fling the clay pigeons as he let off the shots.

Luffy waited as I found the boy in question. They both just kind of blinked at each other, until I stuck the twenty dollar bill in Usopp's hand and told him to show off. The boy smiled widely and told Luffy to follow him out onto the range.

I watched from the air conditioned office as Luffy threw odds and end into the air, all, of course, were hit. They went at it for a good hour before they stopped and began talking. I leaned forward and watched in utter horror as Luffy smiled, nodded and made a big motion with his hands.

Nooooooooooo . . .

o-o-o

"Only you." I muttered as I brought out lunch.

I turned to Usopp, who was scrounging in his pockets for what little money he had. I put a plate in front of him, piled high. He was thin, I have an unnatural edge in seeing someone thin . . . I'm pathetic.

"Don't worry." I told him. "It's left-overs, but it's still good."

He bowed his head and picked up a fork, shoveling everything down as fast as he could. I raised an eyebrow, but walked back to my place at the grill, adjusting the temperatures before bobbing around the rest of the diner to take other orders.

The rest of the "crew" crashed through the doors unceremoniously. Zoro took his usual stool in the middle of the counter, Nami and Chopper on either side of him. Chopper looked thoroughly frightened and Nami looked thoroughly disgusted. Zoro just twirled something black and fuzzy on his index finger.

Oh Lord -- they were handcuffs. Black, _fuzzy_ handcuffs.

I crushed his hand over them hurriedly.

"As interesting as your sex life might be, I don't think the eight year old at booth four want to know about it. Or his parents for that matter."

Zoro gave me a pointed look. "They're Robin's."

"Yes." I waswhispering rapidly, "But it's still _your_ sex life. Your kinky, twisted, private-"

"You're still a virgin aren't you?"

I snatched the handcuffs and pocketed them.

"Ahaha, I knew it!"

Horny bastard.

o-o-o

Nami was in the tent, pouring over her research fervently, linking pieces and maps together. She wanted to completely certain when we ventured into the woods again. According to last official survey of the property, the buildings would take at least a twenty minute hike to reach, that is, if we could find a way.

I "knocked" on the tent door, food in hand for her. She grunted in response and I found her up to her eyeballs in paperwork. She looked tired and strained as she noted something on a black and white copied map. Luffy was sleeping soundly in the portion to her right and Zoro to her left. I tugged the papers from her hands.

"You can't kill yourself over this, it's only a game. Like when you're little, make believe." I said, easing the plate towards her. "Just a-"

"Stop it!" She spat. "You stupid country boy, all dressed up and speaking nice! What would you know about anything? Just a game? We're humoring a dying man. I think. I don't know, I can't afford a doctor or anything. But I don't think he's ok! He should have snapped out of it by now."

I drew back. She was breathing heavily.

"You haven't seen hell 'til you've trained for gymnastics with a Romanian." She sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm worried and . . . "

"S'ok . . . "

"But, anyways, there's a problem with some of these records." She unfurled a map in front of me, pointing to the central buildings. "The north slave quarter is here when the property is surveyed in eighteen thirty, but missing when it's again surveyed in eighteen forty two."

"Well, there were uprisings."

"But no noted uprisings until the Civil War. If these people were going to destroy something, it wouldn't have been their own buildings. See," She tossed me a list. "The number of slaves owned by the Cole family increases during that fourteen year period, making that quarter all the more necessary."

"And you're saying?"

"I'm saying that between eighteen thirty and eighteen forty two, the twenty six people living in the north quarter vanished." Her eyes lit up. "I think the ghost stories go farther back than white records, we need someone with old roots here, preferably of black heritage. They'd probably know the myths."

I rubbed my eyes wearily. "Oh, that's just, peachy . . . met the new crew member yet?"

o-o-o

Usopp, the the first time in his life, was put on the spot and told to tell tales.

He was in shock. This was also probably due to the fact that it was too early in the morning and a pretty girl was hanging onto his every word.

"Now, you said your family has been living here since the Emancipation?"

He nodded.

"Now, do you know anything about the Cole Estate?"

He looked at me as I jerked the coffee pots around. Two months and two weeks until real cooking!

"Hainted holla up th' lane." I drawled for his benefit. Usopp nodded and pressed his fingers to his temples, collecting his thoughts.

"Back in the days, when there were masters and such, the ole Cole Estate was the biggest plantation to ever exist. Over a hundred slaves, very rare you know.

"Back in the old, old days when there were the uprisings, the Great First Fights for Freedom 'round here, of course, they stood to be punished. The master's said to have wiped out an entire quarter . . . no one knows for sure anymore, it's just a myth.

"So far as it goes, it all burned down whilst they were sleeping. Funny thing is, the north quarter was house slaves, real loyal and high up. To burn them sent a big message . . . there was only a rising in the works.

"Now, them woods are haunted by those people. They were faithful and some pay they got for it, killed in their sleep. It's also a local legend that the woods are haunted by the master and mistress who got burned down in the War of Northern Agression.

"And, so far as I know, that story ain't allowed in town. This is making me a mite nervous miss . . . "

Nami paused. "How many people would you say know about this arson?"

Usopp shifted. "I think my grandparents might be it, their great grandparents stayed while everyone else moved West. Supposedly."

She smiled at him. "I think we might have a use of you yet."

I choked on my coffee. Now she had him talking. And now he wasn't going to shut up.

Good thing she's pretty.

**Note:** I wasn't really planning on Usopp, but it worked out that he'd known all those local legends and more.


	6. It Was All Attributed To

**Chapter Six: **It Was All Attributed To

The day was hot, the day was humid and it was one of those days where I was found myself fervently wishing that I wasn't stuck behind a grill and blind in one eye. The diner was packed to the gills, making the ancient air conditioning system null and void as the bodies lapped on the shores of the counter and spilled in through the door as July Fourth parades ended.

Zoro and Luffy lounged in a booth ( lucky bastards ) while Nami graciously waited tables, keeping the tips as I told her she could. I rubbed my temples as someone screamed into my right ear after all their hand motions hadn't worked. I fought the urge to round and bite their heads off, stupid tourists that they were. I brushed my hair aside and flashed my dead eye at them; they shut up and sat down.

Nami bussed another table and piled the plates in back. I reached to my right, to the ever-dwindling pile of serving ware. I eyed the two sitting in the booth. Those dishes needed washing. I motioned to Luffy and he scampered over like puppy.

"I'll give you fifty cents for every plate you wash." I told him, not trusting Zoro to do anything. "If you can do it that is."

He nodded eagerly before expertly vaulting over the counter. I fitted him with an apron and showed him where the sponges and the soap were, then I went back to the grill. I slid the blue plate special over to my impatient customers, noting how they didn't even touch it until they were sure my blind eye was facing them.

o-o-o

I was losing money on this, really. Luffy was a machine, now cleaning up faster than the plates were actually used. I was already down a hundred fifty dollars and fifty cents on this bargain. I wasn't going to begrudge him the money though, he needed it.

The night was winding down now as Nami wiped down the Formica tabletops and I began to assemble dinner for the lot. Zoro was sound asleep in his booth, most likely unaware that his Sex Pistols shirt had ridden up so much that it was nearly all tucked under his chin. I called Luffy out as Nami sang with the radio.

It was odd to have the diner so full. I think I mean that I'm used to doing this alone. Zeff doesn't like working the grill during the summer because it's miserable and hot and greasy. Not that it's any easier for me, but he is paying for me until I leave for Rhode Island. Back to being alone in the summer.

Since this place is small, it only take about two people to keep up with things. One to cook and one to get orders and wash the dishes when they get a moment, but all that usually got dropped on my shoulders, as Zeff would take off the play golf at the country club. And I stayed out so late that I never did get to see what he was cooking in the little house out back where we lived. I was too used to eating my own slop.

I sipped a cup of day old coffee as they helped themselves. I didn't need anything, I was too tired right then. No, I was more content to watch them be content.

o-o-o

So . . . it's sad to say that Usopp was someone we needed. Not because he was familiar with every local legend in the county, but because he was just the playmate that Luffy needed. After all, the bouncy boy couldn't keep hanging around Zoro; heaven forbid drugs came into the picture again.

I followed the two into the town on one of my rare completely free days. Since I was free, today was the day we were going attempt another plunge into the woods for the road that would lead into the manor ruins. Zoro and Nami trailed behind, having a whispered argument. Probably over the pants.

Personally, what moron wears bondage pants with far too many straps and buckles into the woods? It's an accident waiting to happen. And it was one that Nami wished to prevent, as her common sense dictated. She wasn't gong to tolerate this sort of subordinate behavior in her operation – which meant Zoro was refusing to change into anything more sensible. But I didn't know if that's what they were still fighting over, and they fought a lot.

The woods soon loomed over the town limits, encouraging me to light a cigarette to ward the insects away. Another ten minutes, and a turn onto Cole Street brought us to our destination, which all five of us just sort of stared at before Zoro loosed two of his knives and slashed through the dense vines. He went in first and popped his head out, asking if we were coming.

Luffy plunged in, dragging the protesting Usopp, followed myself and Nami, who was brandishing a map in her hands, yelling to remind Zoro that he needed to tag the trees as he went or we'd get hopelessly lost.

The woods in this area were seemingly extra oppressive, so far as heat. Clothes that had been fine moments before were now heavy and intolerable. The light was dim as the trees closed in overhead and the cicadas moaned all around, their noise perforated by the artificial hiss of Zoro's spray paint. Cigarette smoke hovered without dissolving, and I coughed heavily as I fanned it away.

And there was a definite feeling over being watched. I shifted my backpack as Zoro cut at Nami's direction. Both seemed immune to the eerie sensations that the forest gave off, but the other pair, Luffy and Usopp, a year younger than Zoro, Nami and I, were affected. Luffy had stopped talking and Usopp was visibly trembling. I shoved them from behind to keep moving.

It was a steady process, soon, Zoro cut and tagged, Nami managed her maps and attempted to guide. I kept the 'captain' from getting into too much trouble as he relaxed and the sharp shooter from running off. Finally, after what felt like hours, we hit it.

It was a road, perfect and worn through the woods. The dirt was well tamped down as if it had been used often for years, though I knew no one had. Nami paused and sat down promptly, shuffling frantically through paper until she reached a photocopy on an archaic drawing.

"It's the main road . . . " she muttered. "But it's not possible. This is near swamp area . . . it should be overgrown . . . not new."

"I told there ain't nothing natural in hea Miss Nami!" Usopp stammered. "Y'all'd do best to just leave before something happens.

"They are here! Can't you see them? They are in the distance, but they are there and they's ain't happy. They wants us to leave, now." He stressed the word strongly, his eyes darting around the empty woods, his expression pleading.

"Who's there?" Zoro grunted. "'S probably nothing I can't handle."

"Can't you see them?" Usopp whined, motioned down the road. "They's getting riled."

"There's no one there." Luffy made a sensible remark, glancing at his friend, confused. "There's no one there, Usopp."

"There is too!" The boy asserted himself, though he shook. "They's yellin'n'hollerin' to beat the band. Threatenin' you."

Nami rolled up her papers and faced Usopp. "Now, I know you have a vivid imagination, but trying to get us to believe in ghosts is simply absurd."

Luffy's gasp made us all turn to look at him as he stared wide-eyed ahead of us.

"Lookit the house!"

"Not you too!"

"But look, it's all nice, I bet there's treasure in there. And there's horses too, oh, I like the pretty black and white one."

We conferred, the three sane people left, and decided that pressing on today wasn't the best idea. We found the road, but two hallucinating companions aren't going to anyone much good. Not to mention what they'd do to themselves. We staggered out of the woods, thankful to be on the road back into civilization where things weren't one iota as creepy.

o-o-o

Chopper had swung by again, this time in time for dinner. He swung a medical bag full of pilfered drug onto the countertop and sighed.

"If they catch me -- "

"Holy shit! Is this morphine?" Zoro was holding a syringe aloft, studying it with a manic grin. Chopper hesitant snatched it back.

"If they catch me . . . I'll get fired."

Nami raised an eyebrow. "I thought Candy Stripers were volunteers."

"Not when your grandmother is Chief of Medicine. Then you get all your training before med school so you pass med school and can take over her position." He paused. "I'm gonna be in so much trouble . . . "

"Don't worry about it." I humored him with a bowl of soup. "The worst that can happen is that you wind up with extra free time."

He chuckled weakly. "Yeah . . . and, hey, I think I can get you an MRI, I know how to use the machine. Different names, of course, but it could help in seeing what he's got."

Nami nodded. "Thank you."

I balanced Luffy's multi-dish meal on my right arm and carried a single plate to Usopp. I fed the wolves and ate my own share with them as the argument picked up between Nami and Zoro. Luffy got halfway through the pork chops before dropping his fork, his eyes staring off into space.

I paid attention. This was abnormal behavior. He grunted, getting the attention of Usopp, who sidled out of the booth. Luffy pulled himself out, lurched a few steps like he was drunk, and then collapsed to the floor, his skull resounding solidly. There was the collective noise of metal on china as Nami and Zoro pushed off from the counter as Luffy began to convulse.

"Oh my god!" Chopper shrieked. "Get him on his side, get him on his side!"

"What?" Nami was flustered as Luffy began to cough and sputter.

"He's seizing, get him on his side! Keep him there, pin him on his side."

Zoro head-locked Luffy as I pinned the convulsing body. Chopper dug wildly through his bag for something while Nami watched, utterly hopeless. Chopper was readying a syringe, tapping it unsteadily; trying to get the air bubbles out. Luffy thrashed again, nearly sending me sprawling.

I held Luffy's arm still the best I could while Chopper injected the sedative to clam the seizing. Zoro and I clutched the boy's body until it moved slower and slower, finally sinking into sleep.

I leaned back, panting. Zoro did the same. Luffy slept.

"Is he epileptic?" Chopper asked Nami. "Brain damage, blood clots, anything?"

"I don't know." She whispered. "I was kind of hoping you could tell me."

Very seriously, a precursor to the doctor he was going to become, Percy Chopper knelt down next to Nami with a notebook.

"I need a complete patient history and I need to know where he's from so I can get access to medical records."

Horror flitted across her face. "I'll think about it . . . "

He nodded, now sighing and falling flat on his bottom. "I'll, uh, get you an MRI, a PET scan, a spinal tap, something."

Nami just turned away. "Yeah, you do that." She whispered quietly. "You do that." 


	7. So, Logically

**Chapter Seven:** So, Logically

"I want to go back." Luffy was really pressing buttons now. "I think something's there. We have to go back, the trail is marked, we can get through faster."

"It's not a matter of faster." Nami was seething, trying her best now to keep her cool. "Stop that, we can't go on your treasure hunt, it will get you hurt."

"I. Don't. Care." Luffy stressed, looking very cross. "I don't see why I always have to do what you want me to anyways."

"It's for your own safety."

"But I'm bored." Luffy was now no longer paying attention to his dinner. "That's what we came here!"

Nami paused. "Not entirely . . . "

Luffy rubbed his head. "Ugh, it hurts . . . "

Zoro brandished a needle full of things he wasn't supposed to have his hands on. "Take it. There's a little something extra in it, combination, if you will. He'll sleep and it won't hurt a bit."

"I don't need another trip to hospital because you've poisoned him!" She smacked the syringe from our anarchist's hand. "I don't need your fucking charity."

"Calm down," I tried to reason, "We can talk about this in the morning -- "

"We're leaving, I swear!" She was livid now. "I don't need your charity."

Zoro's eyes became slits. He was going to do something. He seized Nami by an arm and practically lifted her off the ground.

"On the run, aren't you? No need to be reported . . . won't they be excited to know that Louis Straw is, in fact, alive in well in South Carolina? How hard it must have been to leave without a trace, but I give you all credit, you pulled it off.

"I maybe a stoner, but I'm not stupid. He used his real name, you don't. It was easy to look up someone with a sports career. The put stats on the internet. Now suck it up. It's not worth your time or your money to run."

She was still furious. "You looked us up!"

"Last seen fleeing East." Zoro quipped, grinning childishly.

Her mouth became a perfect O. "You didn't."

"I did." He muttered, dropping her. "Now sit your stunning ass down or I will be forced to take action."

"You are sleeping outside tonight."

"Woof, woof."

o-o-o

I think she was sane, but I'm sure she had her motives.

"It's all logical."

"Hallucinating is not logical!"

"Plenty logical."

Nami was holding her breath as to not lose her temper on suave, deadly calm Robin-Nicolette. We, meaning all males, were on the other side of the counter, waiting and watching.

Robin-Nicolette had a theory. A weird theory that didn't seem like her, but it sort of made sense. I heard a dish crash and I sighed. Zoro was still holding half a plate and sniffing the remains. He was a odd one . . .

"On some level, yes, but ghosts don't exsist." Nami stressed with her hands. "That's the only problem."

"Or you're too much a close-minded city girl to understand something like this." Robin-Nicolette said primly. "I am right, most of the town will back me on this. Don't make me get proof."

"You can't prove anything!"

"Your . . . friend there, Louis, he has hurt his head, no? Then it seems that he would be hallucinating. Usopp," her nose wrinkled here, "while a terrible liar, is a coward. His fears were too founded. Obviously there was nothing enough to scare him until he said he saw something, but he must have been previously alerted of presences."

"Ghosts aren't real."

"Be that way, but Usopp's family is also the oldest black family in Brice. Even more explanation to why he would see things that you would not."

"It's not an explantion! Explanations are fact, they can be backed with other facts and they make sense."

"This makes sense. I've thought it out. Luffy picks up psyhic impression dues to head injury, it explains why he sees detail! He sees someone else's memories or someone remembers the property. And Usopp had some mediumistic properties because of his heritage."

" . . . no. That's not a fact. Dual hallucinations are probable, we were in a swamp, after all, swamp gasses could have possibly caused the 'visions'. That's the truth."

"Then how do you explain the rest of you remaining in perfect condition?"

"Zoro is on acid, a hallucinogen, anyways."

"Besides that."

"Sanji spends all the time smoking and around heavy duty cleaners--"

"Wouldn't that make him more likely to be affected?"

"Less likely, he has a tolerance for pathogens."

"Fine, we will say he does. And yourself?"

"High tolerance as well."

"From what?"

"Things."

"Illegal things?"

"Right, so you have tolerance as well. But swamp gas still doesn't fully explain because even with tolerance, you would be affected in some small, adverse way. It would have taken longer because of the tolerance, but it would have presented."

"How?"

"Interesting, twisted dreams, I supposed. Something involving the subconcious is probably the safest bet. There is, however, a high documented occurence of what Louis saw. The manor house is known to appear to all manner of folk, passing through and local alike."

"Lucky chance he said the right things."

"Then explain the road."

"What about it?"

"It's been used, hasn't it?" Robin-Nicolette smiled sumptuously. "This year's senior prom, well, some of us snuck off. We hit up the woods for a seance. We found the road, it was well used. You can't pass that off with logic because it defies logic. Something that old in that type of enviornment doesn't preserve itself naturally."

Nami was speechless. Robin-Nicolette sipped from her shake thoughtfully, enjoying the moment.

"Just because it happens doesn't mean it's logical." She said, an air of smugness weaving its way in. "Things can't always be explained you know. If they could, it would take the mystery out of life. So stop ignoring your sixth sense. It makes you very boring."

Nami flushed a brilliant red.

o-o-o

"I don't like her, I don't like her at all." Nami was muttering later. Luffy shrugged.

"I think she's right."

"She said your seeing things because of--"

"Yeah? I think that's kind of cool. Like getting new glasses."

"But it's not like getting new glasses -- ack, no skills! You don't want to seize again, do you?"

"I don't give a fat rat's ass about seizures, I want to practice." Luffy complained, getting off the counter. "Stop worrying."

Nami rolled her eyes. I can't blame her. Chopper couldn't get Luffy in until the end of August, near another two months. In the meantime, there was a veritable drug ring in the backyard. Luffy's riddlin, Valium, and god knows what else was sitting there, under lock and key to guard against Zoro.

Not to mention Zoro! The thing he was kept hanging around those two. But he was definitely quieter. If he got high, it was elsewhere, but that didn't make up for his knife toting ways and tendency to be off his rocker. Not in the silly way Luffy was, more the life threatening way.

The rain pelted the diner windows, only the most faithful patrons battle their to the door. I yawned lazily as Luffy curled up on a window sill, huffing discontentedly. Nami rubbed the table she was bussing harder, aggressively. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, sighing as well.

There was definite tension today. Nami had spent most of the morning hollering at poor Luffy as he showed Zoro how to do giants. As soon as the boy wonder went upside down, he crashed to the ground, gasping like a fish and moaning, clutching his head. I felt so bad for him I ran him inside and got him a glass of water and some Tylenol, stopping Nami before she got to him again. Her patience was being tried.

It was hard to blame either one of them for acting as they did. Well, maybe I didn't know them all that well, but I felt like I did, like I had known them for years. Luffy was something like the odd cousin I never had and Nami as well.

Zoro's snores ripped through the quiet lull of conversations coming from the booths. I eyes popped open and I glared at him.


	8. In the Night

**Chapter Eight:** In the Night

"We're not seizing Fort Knox, I don't see why you need all these precautions."

Nami scowled and attempted again to squish her bag closed. Girl was ready to take on everything but aliens, but that's ok, because she doesn't hold with nonsense like that. Or ghosts. Despite her apparent humiliation at the hands of Robin-Nicolette.

Luffy was stretching outside of her sight, moving his elastic limbs with a strange rhythm. In, out, up and down. His balance was perfect, his calm following to suit. Zoro was sharpening one of his knives idly, watching Nami struggle with her bag. I was sure I caught him smiling a little, out of the corner of my eye, but nothing's for sure. Usopp watched Luffy, enraptured by the latter's concentration.

What an odd sight we must have made. I tapped on my cigarette, leaning up against a tree in my jeans and under-armor, for when we played matches in the cold. It was also thick, and I was less likely to get ticks and the sort through it.

"Sanji," Luffy's inquisitive voice cut through the calm, "Is this a bayou?"

"No, that's in Louisiana. Different. Up here, it's a just a swamp."

"Or a holla."

"Hollow." I corrected him.

"It's holla, that's the way everyone else says it. Even Zoro." Luffy told me. "Just like the old lady in the house next door says 'War of Northern Aggression' instead of Civil War. Her grandfather was in it, he told her lots of stories -- and she told 'em to me. Wasn't that nice?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Really?"

Luffy nodded solemnly. "I should have Robin write them down."

"Wagons ho!" Zoro said, brushing past us and following Nami's swatch of red hair into the thick swamp air. I brought up the rear yet again, listening to Luffy recount half the Battle of Manassas. We reached the road in good time, leaving one option: follow it.

We stood, four abreast, Usopp standing behind, again scared, looking down the winding road.

"Well . . . " Nami was pausing, so much for not being afraid of wee little ghosties. Luffy rolled his eyes.

"Got to do everything myself." And he set one sandaled foot in front of the other and disappeared before the rest of us even moved a muscle. We fell into a single file, though the road could have easily accommodated two lanes of traffic, single file seemed right in the depressive atmosphere.

In fact, this excursion was funded by Zoro and myself ( don't ask ) and was to last four days, in reality, we would probably last two on account of Luffy's enourmous appetite. Zoro was humming from his spot directly behind Luffy, before breaking out in a great, deep and cracked baritone.

"Up from "Third Base" to Huntington, they'd sing another victory song. Two! Three! Four!"

Nami kicked him. "If you're waiting for someone to sing along, you're pathetic."

"I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

"By sounding like you're drunk?"

Zoro considered this with an irked expression. "Actually, it's the only song you should all know."

"What's it from?" Luffy asked. Zoro stopped dead in his tracks.

"You . . . you don't know Tessie?"

"Tessie?"

"You know . . . Boston, you are the only, only, only. Don't blame us if we ever doubt you, you know we couldn't live without you. Red Sox, you are the only, only, only?"

Luffy shook his head. He'd ask me later why Zoro stomped off ahead, belting out that song at the top of his lungs and I said it was because he'd inadvertantly insulted Zoro's team? His team? The Boston Red Sox. So why is he so . . . ? I shrugged and answered it was a Yankee thing, they even had this huge rivalry that seemed to offend them if you called them a Yank. Why? Two teams that rivaled were the Red Sox and the Yankees. And the Red Sox lost, a lot, especially to the Yankees. Figures that Zoro would pick the losing team.

"Nah, I think he likes the challenge." Luffy continued on his merry way.

Zoro has lightened the mood. With him singing drinking songs and the like right in front of us, other chatting began. Even Usopp lightening up and was pausing to snap pictures with cheap a disposable camera. Even Nami was humming offhandedly. It seemed the oppressive density of the air had vanished.

Leaving us to look at the fork in the road.

"Well, which way?"

"I don't know."

"It says on this one that this leads to the main house, and this other parts -- "

"Get that thing away from my map."

"Well, I can't quite reach all the way."

"Get it away."

"Fine, it's going away. Little pissy, aren't we?"

"I wouldn't be pissy if someone decided to set the begonias on fire at two in the morning."

"Accident."

Nami tore the map away from Zoro. "I say we head to the house, more likely than not, there will be open spaces there because they were less fertile than the farm land, and they are on higher ground. The plants in this area would have left more bare."

"But," I too reached over her shoulder. "Farm land was also heavily worked for profit, it's also possible that this could have left it barren."

"Are you gonna argue with me too, pretty boy?"

I took a step backwards. "No, I'm just saying -- "

"We're going to the house." Luffy said, already heading down the path. "It's safer. I know."

Usopp nodded, his dark eyes darting around. "He's right."

We three gave the other two a collective glare, as if their gut feelings couldn't overrule our logic. But since this also meant that Nami won, she rolled up the map and Zoro and I reshouldered our bags. Good lord, what was in these things?

It took the remainder of the day to trek through the thinning roadway. There was promise in the ground, though. Domestic flowers peeped at us through the weeds and I spied an apple tree or two.

o-o-o

I checked my watch. "Somebody better take this down, four fifty two, seven twelve oh six, Cole Manor."

Which, naturally, loomed before us, a burnt out shell. The vines had claimed the lower half, their tendrils choking the window and doorways. The upper half of the ruin yawned into the sky, fragments of trusses jutting out awkwardly. It was apparent that the second floor was missing entirely.

"WOW." Luffy. Was. Thrilled.

You would have thought someone had just handed him his lottery winnings or had told him that he now owned all the meat in the world. He also seemed to be getting a little short of breath.

"Oh my god, guys! Look at it! I mean, it's great! We can poke around, maybe the treasure's in there and, uh, and, oh, I . . . uh." His frame swayed. "I don't feel good."

Nami slung his arm over her shoulder. "That's ok Louis, it's enough for one day. We'll make camp, get you something to eat, maybe some painkill -- "

"I don't want them." He snapped. "Stop giving me them. I don't want them."

"You need them." She responded in a reproachful tone. "Louis, pain isn't good for you."

"I said shut up! Stupid failure, can't even make it around the rink without falling!"

"Stop it."

"Stop it? I should get the hell back, not be in the middle of some fucking forest."

"Luffy?" Zoro's hands clamped over the boy's thin shoulders. "What're you doing."

He was fainting.

o-o-o

Eavesdropping is not a polite thing. But, you know, you can do it as long as you don't get caught. At all. And if you hide in the bushes. With a stick half way up some place unmentionable, but that's not what I'm supposed to be talking about.

"Silly, pushing yourself too hard."

By the way, Zoro, Mr. Macho, acting "cute" over a girl is slightly disturbing when she is not full of metal and ink. Or a roofie.

"Stop that."

"M'kay. You going to give him a hit soon?"

"You heard him, he doesn't want it."

"I'll do it."

"Don't. Look, he's two different people. Now he's eight again, getting the childhood he missed, right? Even if it kills him . . . no regrets, he's happy."

"Two people?"

"Then their's Straw. Nationals, Worlds, all simple matters. He wasn't, he wasn't nice."

"And you?"

"Me?"

"Who couldn't make it around the rink?"

"Oh, my parents sent me in, I wanted out. I turned eighteen, fought the system and took their injured ace with me."

" . . . I'm sorry, but that phrase . . . "

"What about it?"

"Nothing."

"Bastard."

"Only you."

I left them to banter so I could lapse into sleep in my tent ( my tent on the grounds that Zoro never showed up ).

The night was heavy, that night, and darker than any other I'd ever seen. Some time in the wee hours of the morning, I woke, feeling edgy and afraid. I reached out for my cigarettes and lit one, marveling at my inexplicable shaking hands. I clenched them into fists until the were still, taking deeps drags until there was enough nicotine in my veins to soothe the shivering. I exhaled the smoke, and a stick snapped out side.

Nothing, I told myself, a naturally occuring phenomenon, a stick snapping. And then another. Uncanny, I took a hard pull, almost swallowing the cigarette, but complete naturally. Then a third. I fumbled for another cigarette. Calm down. Calm down.

The soft swish of footsteps reached my ears. I choked on the smoke and struggled to keep silent as it burned up through my throat and into my eyes. The figure advanced on my tent. The zipper of the doorway was pulled open ever so slowly.

"Yo, you got the paper 'cause I gotta take a leak -- you look like shit." Zoro blinked sleepily. "Look like you've seen a ghost or something."

I was now quivering with rage. "You moron!"

"Eh?"

I wasn't bothering with couture, I sprang onto Zoro and held him down by the neck. "You idiot!"

"Mrt! Yearg, scared you, didn't I?"

"I -- oh . . . shit . . . "

"What is it?"

Zoro sat up knocking me down. "What the . . .?"

The house above us flickered, as if a faulty television picture. Tiny lights darted through the mouth of the upper half, as if teasing us. We heard footsteps behind us. Zoro took off running.

"Real brave you are!" I screamed as I caught up. "Real brave leaving me -- "

"Shut up! They're up there!"

"What?"

"The fire -- Nami, Luffy! You know!"

I lengthened my stride and passed Zoro. I came to screeching halt at the fire where Nami was still curled up in slumber, waiting for her pillow to come back. Zoro jogged over to where Usopp and Luffy were lodged.

He dragged the darker boy into the light. "Where is he!"

"It's not my fault!" Usopp shook as he tried to challenge Zoro. "He got up, all weird. I told him not to follow, but he didn't listen! He said he could hear the horses and smell the food, he was going."

"Where, where not why you skinny little -- "

"The house, don't hurt me."

"What, what?" Nami was waking.

"He left, that way, I couldn't stop him. They won't let me. There's nothing I can do. They can't hurt you, but they can hurt me!" Usopp snapped defiantly. "You can get him back tomorrow. When it's light."

"Well what's the difference?" Zoro said, drawing a knife. "So I have to use a flashlight, big deal."

"It's safer." Usopp turned back to his tent. "We can get him tomorrow."

**Note:** OK, most people I know do know the jist of 'Tessie', which is basically a Red Sox anthem sort of thing by the Dropkick Murphys ( also from Boston ). It got relatively popular after the Sox won the Series.


	9. Up, In

**Chapter Nine:** _Up, In_

Zoro is smart. I give him that. Sometimes. He is excellent with improvision and has his own, _je ne sais quoi_, strength, I suppose.

But he cannot take a direct order from someone he considers below him, in a sense.

Now, he was hotter under the collar than I'd ever seen him -- stoned, drunk or sober. All because he just had to nip the flashlight and take off on his own. He had predicted the dark, the underbrush and the bugs, but not the quicksand.

So now he was short one combat boot and a flashlight ( he'd saved the knives ). He was in a peachy mood. Just peachy -- and now wearing one of my sneakers.

"I hate everyone." He was glowering, looking pointedly at the house in the distance. "I hate every fucking one of you. God damn, why am I here?"

Nami cracked him upside and head; he, in turn, swore eloquently, with a few new ones I didn't quite understand. Flipped everyone off for good measure. I stretched lazily where I was propped up against a maple tree. I think it was one of those fancy Japanese maples that people use to landscape -- another sign of the past wealth of the place, silly as it seemed.

Nami was deep in her consult work with Usopp as he attempted to determine the lay of the property. He knew things about the woods that the rest of us didn't consider, like quicksand and just how quick you sink in it. I lost track of their ramblings as the heat picked up and the cicadas began to sing their metallic song. My under-armor grew heavy and irritable as the humidity swelled. We would need to get moving soon.

The two, however, still needed to mash out as many details as they could. She couldn't take this on unprepared. I checked our water supply again. It worse came to worse, we would have to haul water from the river half a mile behind the house and boil it. If we needed to. If we got that far. If, if, if, if.

If only last night hadn't been so odd. Luffy had disappeared without leaving a trace. Zoro, oddly adept in looking for clues, came up with nothing, as did Usopp who plotted the other boy's trajectory with his marksman precision. If we followed the line of the orchard, it was a clear shot to the pavilion front of the wrecked mansion. It was the most obvious path and it was probably the safest. So why hadn't his footprints appeared in the surrounding muck? Or why hadn't he lost a sandal or his hat?

Nami was fighting a battle with her logic. It told her that Louis, she was no absolutely refusing to call him Luffy, was simply light-footed, perhaps using his gymnastic movements over some of the more tricky parts. It refused to let her believe that there was any other explanation, like the one Usopp was fervently insisting on; he and Luffy had heard voices -- a party it seemed.

While he hadn't seen anything, Luffy had insisted he could see and smell the celebration, quickly gallivanting off to join. It was at this time that Zoro left Nami asleep by the dying fire to wake myself up with his walking. We calculated that Luffy must have departed shortly after Zoro moved away -- the paranoid stoner wouldn't let something like that slip his attention so easily. If anything, Zoro was inexplicably furious that it had. I was just worried that this new event was straining us all.

"We're going." Nami had the map and her notebook in her hands. "We have eight hours to get him back. We need to be back here by nightfall as a group. It doesn't do us any good if we lose another person." She was calm as she spoke, shouldering her backpack. "We're going to try the orchard route first. If that doesn't work, a portion of the main road exists, but it is riddled with quicksand since it appears to have sunk into the swamp."

We nodded silently. There didn't seem to be much reason to be talking. We three boys fell in single file behind Nami. The air seemed again stagnant as we moved closer to the house, not helped by the cloying scent of the rotting fruit from the orchard. I felt a portentous air following us. Some warning that this was something more than we thought it was. I shifted my pack. I hoped not. I still had to go to college.

The walk there was rather uneventful, taking only an hour to travel roughly a half mile due to underbrush and various other obstacles. We stood on the cracked cobblestone pavilion, looking up as the bared trusses of the second story. Nami swallowed hard, taking a deep breath and pulling out her references, her solid facts. We circled, now left to figure out how we were supposed to go about rescuing our captain.

"I say we track the outside first." Zoro traced the lines of the foundation. "If there's a spot that's loose, uncovered, whatever, any place where he could have gotten in, we should be able to see it."

"He right." I conceeded, "It's not structurally safe, most likely, it's not the best idea to take the chance of bursting right in when we could just as easily coax him out."

"If he's concious." Usopp said in a flat tone. "His head was killing him last night."

"And you feel the need to mention this just now?"

"So sue me, I didn't think it was important."

"Important?"

"His head hurts all the time. It's really not a good indicator of anything wrong anymore."

"I think -- " Nami cut in, "That we check the perimeter first, then test the structure. If it's safe, two of us go in . . . with tethers."

"Fine by me." Zoro grunted, loosing one of his knives. "We'll head to the left, you two head to the right."

"Eh?"

"You and golden boy take the left, me and the fuzzball will left. We should meet half way. Yell if you find anything."

"Yell what?"

Zoro gave a crazy smile. "Olli-olli-oxin-free."

o-o-o

Want to know what a rose trellis looks like after a century of neglect?

Hideous. And prickly.

Nami refused to walk over it. Period. I had to carry her. And, not that any chance to get on her good side is a bad thing, she weighs something terrible. I was actually straining as I picked delicately across the broken arch, the thorns tickling my ankles through my socks. She sighed as I wobbled, trying to step over another piece of wood.

"Can't you go any faster?"

"I'm. Trying." I gasped out. "This just. Isn't ideal. I can't see. The ground."

"So?"

"I don't want. To. Break an ankle."

She pulled forward and rested her head on my shoulder. "Go faster."

I shot her a look. "I do need. These feet. They. Are paying for. My schooling."

"Don't you need your hands to go to chef school?"

"Yes." I said around my gritted teeth as I focused on my next move. "But I need. My whole body. For it all."

"Faster."

I humored her, jumping over the next bit, ultimately sending myself face first into the overgrown roses. I moaned as she slammed into my back, pushing me further into the thorny limbs. I opened my eyes warily and surveyed the situation. I slip of red winked at my through the rough green and brown. I sat up carefully, giving her time to move aside before I reached for the object in question.

A sandal with red bottom.

"Olli . . . " Nami began. "OLLI-OLLI-OXIN-FREE!"

o-o-o

Zoro and I were tearing through the roses, throwing the pink blossoms aside with little regard for them. We wrenched them free from the frame that still hugged the house, shoving aside the parts that had fallen. Nami clutched the sandal in one and and assessed her information again and again, trying to determine where we would end up if we went it.

I took another swipe with Zoro's bowie, deftly cutting the plant. The naked wooden lattice soon stared at us with little remorse. There was only one way to go that made sense. And that was up.

**Note:** Ha ha. This one makes me laugh. It hated me so much. I wrote it FIVE TIMES because every time I started, something went wrong. The power went out, my brother deleted it, I lost it, ect, ect. HA HA. That and I realized that wearing under-armor around, while extremely cool looking, is also extremely uncomfortable.


	10. Name Calling

**Ten: Name Calling**

I looked cross-eyed at the trellis, thinking something along the lines of 'why me' coupled with 'am I really this stupid'. Actually, I think Zoro was on that thread too. It's pretty fair to say that, at this particular moment, he and I were rather whipped.

Nami began to fuss about how neither one of us was climbing. I made the first move, grabbing hold of the rotted wood and testing it. It seemed sturdy enough. I wedged my right foot into one of the gaps and lifted myself up successfully. With a burst of pride, I reached up again, kicking off firmly with my right foot.

And falling, quite suddenly, back to earth, cross eyed once more. I was glad right then that Zoro was to my blind side and I couldn't see his expression. I'm rather afraid that if I had, I would have chased him off into the quicksand. I heard Nami's strained titter behind me.

"It gave." I said stiffly, rising to my feet. I picked at the place in the trellis that had been ripped away. Zoro tapped the wall tentatively before pulling back his fist and sending it straight through. His hand came back with the dusting of plaster. He secured his foot in the hole, pulled himself up and, using the foot with the boot, he kicked open another foothold. I scowled at him as he crept along vertically.

Upon reaching the top, he became stuck. Now caught on the jagged trim, his struggling rear was the only part of him visible; my white and red sneaker flailing around in his black pants and solitary boot.

Nami and Usopp turned their respective gazes to me. I swallowed hard and rubbed my eyes before scrambling up the wall myself.

"That you pretty boy?"

"Want someone else to save your ass, moron?"

"Yes. Make sure she's topless. And has a huuuuuuge gun and -- "

My hand managed to collide with Zoro's rear. I felt upwards as he began to cuss, straining to grab a hold his belt and keep my footing. I pulled him down roughly, his hands catching on the ledge at the last second. I coiled myself together, launching myself the extra two feet that Zoro had not. I crashed rudely into a varnished floor, sliding across it on the back until the friction of my sweaty hands brought me to a stop.

I tried to stand, slipping on the slick flooring, and -- wait, varnish? I peered down at the floor and my own reflection peered right back at me. I blinked, it did likewise. I saw Zoro running a finger across a board, looking for dust.

"'S fuckin' weird." He muttered, shaking his shoulders. "This place is insane."

"Is there anything up there?" Nami's voice reached us. I moved quickly to lounge over the trim, smiling lazily.

"Princess, there's a whole palace for you up here."

She scowled at me. "Then haul me up."

Zoro shoved me aside roughly, his tether now had a complex looking knot spun into a foothold on the bottom. I heard him laugh something about my being a poofter (he's rather lucky that I didn't hear the whole of that) and then ordered me to haul up our rather cowardly companion. The poor boy was trembling in his boots, his hand holding firmly to his belt. I noticed for the first time that the belt was loaded with different munitions; I made note to watch my back around him.

As our trek mounted this treacherous slope, we sat down and began to plan again. Obviously the second floor was stucturally safe; so, naturally, the first must still have supports holding it up, but this said nothing about the flooring. There was a staircase located to our immediate left and it appeared solid. Usopp began to dig through his bag.

"What the hell is that?" I blurted out. He glanced warily at us three.

"It's a modified Colt pistol. I figured it was fitting."

"What kind of idiot are you?" Nami spat. "That's not safe."

Usopp rankled his nose. "I know. That's why it's modified; it shoots bee-bees." He took a twist of brown paper from his belt and shook it; the little metal balls sounded dully.

"Why modify a Colt?" Zoro asked. "That's like...killing Jesus."

Usopp shrugged. "It was broken anyways. Besides, I get better shot close range with a munition that really doesn't do anything but bruise. I got a collapsible air rifle in there too." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to his bag. "Don't touch it."

"Now that we have weaponry out of the way," Nami ploughed on ahead, "The staircase to the left should lead to bedrooms, parlors, whatever, meant for the residents. To the right, there should be a trap door." She shifted the map and pointed out the barely there illustration. "There are two tunnels within the walls of the northern wing that would lead from the kitchens to the ballroom. The trapdoor, obviously, intended to run food to parties more efficiently. Seems like it was added as a last minute thing, though." She unfurled a secondary floor plan. "See, here, there's not even a mention of the north wing existing. That's six months before the foundation is laid.

"And here," she motioned at the other floor plan, "When the house is successfully rebuilt and the land surveyed, there's a northern area that is prominent and continues to expand until the house is painted in..." Her eyebrows knit together as she smoothed out. "Eighteen fifty seven, there's no more plans after that."

"Didn't they uprise in forty nine?" Zoro was fishing in her bag. "I know I stuck your timeline in here somewhere."

Nami narrowed her eyes and gave him the full on ice princess glare. He slowed down. "What?"

"Yes, forty nine. Put down the bag."

He shrugged. "So, forty nine, last uprising that's pre-Civil War. Fifty seven is the last time the image of the manor is put down on paper. Then sixty one to sixty five you've got the war raging and all they know what's going on is that the slaves trash the property and then are rewarded the lots in Sherman's what-ever-it-is. Obviously, no one's keeping track of them."

Usopp raised his hand before taking off in an nervous tone. "That's 'cos on one's gonna give a damn 'bout anyone with a different color skin 'til the civil rights movements. All I've ever been told is that this place is cursed worse than you can imagine -- being that it's a place where God's law was so violated by shacklin' men to the chattel and workin' them to their deaths. As well as goin' back on what's said t'be an honest word."

I saw Zoro draw in his breath, ready to refute this, being a Yank as he was. I flicked his shoulder.

"This isn't your ground." I said slowly. "Here's it's real. Not like your northern cities."

"If you think I'm ill-informed about slavery," Zoro said through his teeth, "Then you can go fuck off."

"Please, like you're in any position to tell me what to do."

"I think I am, seeing as I'm the one with the sharp objects and, well, you're not."

"Yankee!"

"Bubba!"

"Where the hell did you learn that?"

"...I think at school."

"Oh, that's great."

"Isn't it? You're so damn red."

"Fuck you, want to know how stupid you look with two different shoes?"

"Well, -- "

"Well, I'm going down. Coming Usopp?"

The boy shifted his gaze between myself and Zoro to Nami. He chose Nami, holstering his odd weapon and shouldering his bag. We blinked stupidly before scrambling to our feet and hustling down the hatch after them.

It was cold and it was dark. I felt the mold creeping up my nose as I descended last. I fell to my knees, the spongy, rotten floor boards leaking water through the knees of my pants. After a quick search, I lit up one of our remaining flashlights. The light barely penatrating the thick, soupy veil of darkness on the tunnel. I rose slowly. I was able to stand up fully, being only in slight shorther than Zoro.

I tested the wood warly, feeling rather foolish for letting everyone plunge in headfirst tether free. It seemed to hold, and we pressed forth to the kitchens. I checked my dimly glowing Timex; we had four hours left.

**Note:** I'm not sure, but I think that a Colt was one of the choice pistols of the era (Wikipedia is giving me hell and we didn't go into depth on arms and munitions, so my notes don't cover it), the Winchester being _the_ rifle of the Civil War. I don't if you can modify a Colt, but I should think that Usopp could do it.


End file.
